Advice · Competition

Competition Series, Game 3

Before launching Make Your Mark, I can’t tell you how many times I tried to talk myself out of it. To take the easier road.


A big part of that was the comparison game. I would look around at all the blogs and consultants and “experts” and get overwhelmed with the thought of being less than. Not as good as. A sub-par imitation of another person’s success. What in the world do I have to offer that a million other people aren’t already articulating and plastering everywhere for the world to see?

I was comparing. I was sizing up my “competition.” But I finally realized why I felt the need to leave the comforts of director-dom and do this thing.


I was committed to realizing I have something to offer. I had committed 10+ years really fine-tuning and honing the skills necessary to do this job. That the benefit to young women in having this resource, mentor, and preparation available to them far outweighed the concerns and doubts I have.

But it takes work. Sometimes I’m not so great at the work. So that’s when I fall back on commitment.

We live in a very non-committal and narcissistic culture. Our world is full of “maybes” and unsent RSVPs and unkept meetings. We have been taught it is ok to cancel if something better comes along. That marking MAYBE gives us an out.


I think that’s a huge reason why our generations are falling shorter and shorter of their goals. We say we shoot for the moon and settle for a Mars Bar because it’s easier. We get it in our heads that we are owed something – entitled to what we want, because so much of what we want is handed over to us on silver platters. (or platinum or titanium or whatever a Kardashian decides is cool. PS – is it disturbing that my spell check knows KARDASHIAN as a word? Degression….)

An even scarier product of a non-committal society: that what is best for me, right now, in this moment, is what matters the most. That’s my right. To be happy. Right. Now.

Except that in my 32 brief years, I can tell you, anything worth having – that brings true happiness and underlying joy – takes a heck of a lot of work. And dedication. Accountability. Drive. Ambition.


So…let’s say you decide to get into the game and compete at something. You (at least somewhat) conquer the comparison hurdle and realize you have something to contribute. You also respect your competitors without tuning into their every move. But part three is probably the most critical component to your success. You can win even though you compare. You can win even though you worry about your competitors. You cannot win if you aren’t committed to what it takes to get there.

Write those goals down. Everyone has people: tell your people about them. Make checkpoints along the way. Figure out what victory looks like in your own way.

If you aren’t committed to an end goal – and each (sometimes) unpleasant step along the way – you’ll never discover the true blessing of knowing what it is to want, try, fight…and WIN.


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