Advice · Competition

Did He Put A Ring On It?

imagesAh, the topic of boyfriends. Yikes. This can be a touchy or controversial subject for people competing in pageants. I mean, competing is a big part of your life, but not the ONLY part. And you can’t put your whole life on hold during your pageant competition years, right?! I recently celebrated my eight-year wedding anniversary (holy cow!) and trust me when I say I know what I’m talking about on this matter – I was engaged when I competed, and you know how hindsight gives you 20/20! Below I outline three scenarios you may encounter as a pageant girl with a beau, and how to handle those situations.

Scenario 1: We just started dating/I don’t know where it might go/He is super busy but so am I but he is really, really cute…

This is the “we aren’t Facebook official” status relationship, if you can even call it that. Or “he’s really just not that into you” but you chase him anyway. I can say that because, well, I have been guilty of chasing guys before. EW. DO NOT CHASE BOYS. Ever. Realize what you’re worth, the time you are wasting on the dude, and move on.

  • Verdict: Ditch the Flaky Dude. Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Dat! For real. Do it now. I’ll wait…giphy

Scenario 2: I’m in a real relationship.

Whether you started dating pre-pageantland, or after, you need to really weigh your decision to continue dating this person. How likely are you to end up with this guy? Does he support your dreams and help you flourish, or is he a distraction to you? If you can answer those questions favorably, remember that life after pageantland is more important in the long run. Don’t miss your chance with Mr. Right for a pageant. But be sure he is worth sticking around for, because the hard truth is, dating someone DOES put you at a disadvantage. It just does. But it can be done.

  • Verdict: Take Him or Leave Him, depending on the guy.

Scenario 3: He Put A Ring On It!

#OhMyGoshI’mGettingMarried! You can and should be super excited! How does this impact your competition, though? It does. You need to decide first if you are giving up competition years for this guy. If yes, YOU are making that choice and must never, ever resent him for your choice. Second, wedding planning is a time-consuming task. Planning your future is important. But it isn’t possible to still give 100% of your effort to competing AND preparing for a wedding and beyond. I would advise talking to your BF beforehand and agree to hold off on an engagement, or wedding planning at the very least, until you finish competing so you can give your full attention to both life-changing events. If, however, you are ok with competing and understanding you MAY not do as well as you could have had you given it your all, then full-steam ahead in both directions. Just be sure to keep your personal relations out of the competition and off social media, including that ring!

  • Verdict: Life With Mr. Right > Competing.
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